I was inspired to write this after a situation that happened at a bar in San Francisco just this past weekend. My guard was down, I was wide open, enjoying, laughing and hanging out with my friends, and suddenly was approached at the end of the night by a person who was completely drunk and belligerent, trying to pick a fight and saying really rude and obnoxious things. She was making racist comments and was so unaware that they were inappropriate and disrespectful. She would not stop, though we told her it wasn’t right, and refused to see how she was in the wrong. She just kept giggling. It felt like my insides were being burned, they were aching, raw, stabbing just being in her presence.

Learning about childhood trauma taught me that in situations like this, where there is injustice, it is common to feel triggered by your past, feel like the trauma is happening again, feeling the injustice of the trauma and abuse happening to you. So, I definitely felt triggered. I was raging, bubbling inside, shaking, but not able to physically or even verbally express myself. I didn't yell, I didn't hit her, yet I felt the adrenaline rushing and all I could do was burst into mad tears the second I got into the elevator. After getting back to my hotel room and taking a bath, and crying more and more, thinking about the world and how people don't even know how they are being, that they just say things without thinking, and probably haven't even been taught that this is wrong or could hurt other people. It's basically not treating everyone equally, and this is something I am very passionate about raising awareness about. I can't believe racism is still a thing. And, I will do what I can in this lifetime to raise awareness and help people realize that we are all one, we are all the same.

I pictured my chest cracking wide open as I sobbed, felt connected to everyone and everything, and told myself I was allowing the light to shine out of the cracks. I told myself instead of letting this get me down, I would use this fire of inspiration to do good for the world and humanity, and use it to drive me to serve the best I can. So...this poem was born, which I turned into a spoken word, and then later added piano to. Thank you for listening, and so much love to you.

Keep peace alive.

xxx
Kat